 
The bad news or the bad news? Meet The Gatekeeper. He alone presides over The Other Side, keeping the peace in the Provinces until Doomsday - or whatever comes next.
He is the game's timekeeper and referee - dealing out punishments and penalties and ruling the game play with an iron fist.
"Welcome to my web of deceit, maggot. It is a site for sore eyes - even worse than the site of you. I have seen lepers look better, maggot. You don't mind if I call you maggot, do you? Not that I'd mind if you did. All you have to do is mind your manners - I always seem to forget mine."
"The only thing I mind is The Other Side. It is a dreadful place! It is my kind of place - a place lost somewhere between nowhere and forever - where the only thing to fear is fear itself."
"A land of limbo you can only ever visit in your worst nightmares - and I am here to help you have one."
"And I? I am THE GATEKEEPER. I am the voices in your head and the shadows in the dark. I am the Judge and Jury. The beginning, the middle and the end of this life and the one before the next. I am The Gatekeeper. Sincerely."
"Not that sincerity was ever one of my qualities. I despise it as much as stories with happy endings."
"So let us dispense with that tired 'Once upon a time...' in favor of a bigger entrance like SHUT UP and listen up."
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